Spiraling Out of Control

Hey everyone, it's been about a month since I've been on here due to, complications, in life. Complications that I stated out in the last thread I posted a month ago. And suffice to say...things haven't really gotten any better. I've decided that I'm going to drop out of college due to all of the stress and because it's not something I want to do anymore. Yeah, it might not be the best idea ever, but I'm sick and tired of this school, so I'm going to just reevaluate my life for a year or two and go from there. As for my personal life, it's like a coin toss for every single day; heads, it's a good day, tails, and I get screamed at by my girlfriend for doing nothing wrong. I can't say that romance and all that is my speciality, but forgive me if expressing my feelings is something I have long trained myself not to do. There's a good reason I don't let anyone into my heart anymore, I've been lied to far too many times to the point where I don't know who I can even trust anymore. Somebody could be your friend one day, and the next day they could stab you in the back, so I don't give anyone the opportunity to do that. That's not to say I don't deeply care about my friends and such, I just air on the side of caution and don't expose myself 100% to anyone. Perhaps part of it has to do with the fact that I find comfort in solidarity, finding peace when I am by myself. And I don't know whether my sexuality has anything to do with it, but I know for sure I am asexual, but I may be leaning towards aromantic considering the fact that I don't really get romance stuff. I don't socialize or go out with any friends nor do I like talking with people in general, I much prefer to quietly sit at home and relax. I don't know, I just really want to live in peace with the one person I know I can trust, myself.

Spiraling Out of Control