Trying not to Lose Hope

Hello. I am a rather confused, but gradually learning (both about myself and the psychology of others) gradually over the 30+ years I have been alive. I have had a lifelong interest in diapers, although, somewhat unfortunately, I often associate it with punishment due to my upbringing. I was raised primarily in a rather strict, devoutly religious (Baptist) part of the United States (the Bible Belt actually), and was born into a military family, my father being both strict and also just over 10 years older than my mother and the fathers of my peers - this seemed to amplify his rigidity concerning child-rearing practices and punishment. I am currently pursuing a masters degree in clinical psychology, hoping to help those suffering from addiction and/or alcoholism, as I wasted many years of my life due to my own alcoholism, being unable to accept myself, and when able to accept myself, filled with an enduring and abiding self-hatred and feeling of inferiority, which I am gradually trying to overcome (I no longer drink). I am at the age where most of my friends are marrying, and while I do not come to this site to find a partner, I would definitely be interested in “How To” information on how to break the news to your partner, concerning an interest in diapers. I am also a spanking fetishist, and while I have had a good deal of success introducing spanking into relationships, I have had no success whatsoever in introducing either males or females (I am bisexual) to the ABDL aspects of my life/sexuality. Thank you for reading my somewhat rambling intro!

Trying not to Lose Hope