I have a roommate who I realize I'm slowly starting to resent. For the most part, we don't have any of the usual problems like people not doing their dishes, not paying rent, ect. We keep our apt fairly clean. I don't have a problem with my other roommate at all. We've lived together before and we're both fairly laid back. However, my first roommate is very passive aggressive and I honestly don't know how to deal with it.
She has a habit of criticizing random things that I do, and when I confront her about it, she just says, "I was just kidding. You take things too seriously." For example, I get hot very quickly. I asked during the summer that we put the air conditioning higher because I was sweating and couldn't fall asleep. She said, "no, I don't want a higher electricity bill." Ok, I understand that. I told her that I'd need to get a fan for my room anyway because I cannot fall asleep when I'm too hot. Done. The time comes for us to start turning on the heat and I ask that they don't turn the heat on too high, and she says, "Uh, we're keeping it above 70 degrees."
I reminded her that I was incredibly uncomfortable during the summer to help them out and I expect her to do the same. I do, after all, pay part of the rent and utilities. She basically told me "No, I'll do what I want." Our other roommate told her no, let's not turn the heat on. She listened to him (because he's her boyfriend). After I confronted her about it politely, she told me that she was just joking and that she would hope that after being friends for so long, that I would at least know when she's joking. ...which is the problem, I know when she's joking and she's denying it and lying about it to my face. But she denies it, which makes it even more frustrating. There was another time where she asked me if I would be ok with her bringing her family dog to the apt because her family wasn't taking care of it properly. I told her that I honestly did not want a dog in the house. I did not want to take care of it and clean up after it, and we would have to pay extra because our apartment doesn't allow pets.
She argued that I was "just ok with letting her family kill her dog, and said she'd take care of it and would take it out and pay for it and the addition to the rent."
Fine, you can pay the portion of the rent, but you work a full time job. You know you can't take it out when you're at work. In other words, when she's not there, we'll have to take care of it, and I think the fact that she doesn't consider my perspective to be really rude. I also dislike the idea of people asking me a question and then not accepting my answer.
Which is basically what my problem is. I feel like my roommate never considers my opinions about anything seriously. Every time she disagrees with me, it's her way or else she'll argue with you until you get tired of arguing. Dealing with her is exhausting and she makes me feel like I'm paying rent in an apartment where I'm being treated like a guest who should be grateful that she lets me stay.
I want to bring this up again, but I really don't want to bring my roommate in the middle of this since he has nothing to do with it, and I don't want to ambush her after she gets off work and start an argument. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? I'm at a loss.
Annoyed with roommate
She has a habit of criticizing random things that I do, and when I confront her about it, she just says, "I was just kidding. You take things too seriously." For example, I get hot very quickly. I asked during the summer that we put the air conditioning higher because I was sweating and couldn't fall asleep. She said, "no, I don't want a higher electricity bill." Ok, I understand that. I told her that I'd need to get a fan for my room anyway because I cannot fall asleep when I'm too hot. Done. The time comes for us to start turning on the heat and I ask that they don't turn the heat on too high, and she says, "Uh, we're keeping it above 70 degrees."
I reminded her that I was incredibly uncomfortable during the summer to help them out and I expect her to do the same. I do, after all, pay part of the rent and utilities. She basically told me "No, I'll do what I want." Our other roommate told her no, let's not turn the heat on. She listened to him (because he's her boyfriend). After I confronted her about it politely, she told me that she was just joking and that she would hope that after being friends for so long, that I would at least know when she's joking. ...which is the problem, I know when she's joking and she's denying it and lying about it to my face. But she denies it, which makes it even more frustrating. There was another time where she asked me if I would be ok with her bringing her family dog to the apt because her family wasn't taking care of it properly. I told her that I honestly did not want a dog in the house. I did not want to take care of it and clean up after it, and we would have to pay extra because our apartment doesn't allow pets.
She argued that I was "just ok with letting her family kill her dog, and said she'd take care of it and would take it out and pay for it and the addition to the rent."
Fine, you can pay the portion of the rent, but you work a full time job. You know you can't take it out when you're at work. In other words, when she's not there, we'll have to take care of it, and I think the fact that she doesn't consider my perspective to be really rude. I also dislike the idea of people asking me a question and then not accepting my answer.
Which is basically what my problem is. I feel like my roommate never considers my opinions about anything seriously. Every time she disagrees with me, it's her way or else she'll argue with you until you get tired of arguing. Dealing with her is exhausting and she makes me feel like I'm paying rent in an apartment where I'm being treated like a guest who should be grateful that she lets me stay.
I want to bring this up again, but I really don't want to bring my roommate in the middle of this since he has nothing to do with it, and I don't want to ambush her after she gets off work and start an argument. Does anyone have any experience with something like this? I'm at a loss.
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