best diaper ever!

Ever feel guilt for doing something, that others that know in your life don't mind you do? I stopped wearing for almost a month now and the urge is back and strong again. I love my wife and she accepts who I am but reading all these post, about others that aren't as lucky as me. It made me think about things more in depth. I talked to my wife and I told her that I was sorry I was weird but it's just something that no matter how hard I try I can't give it up. I explained to her all the struggles I had before we got together with hating myself for my urge to wear diapers to where I started to accept that it was part of me. It's honestly very hard to do when it's something that you don't know where it came from to begin with. I explained about the different websites I had visited and how I came to know I wasn't the only one out there with these desires. Even though she told me she was okay with it and liked my weirdness, I had to explain to her more so I could get it out in the open. I read these post where people are hiding it for years and years. That would of been me if I wouldn't of gotten drunk one night and fell asleep with a diaper on while she was out. I got "caught" before we got married as a test to her. I left one sit on the bathroom floor after a shower before she came over. She seen it and asked me about it that night and I made up some story. To old for stories anymore. Tired of hiding what makes me happy. I don't need to go out of my way to show it off or make people mad but I should feel free in my own home...... right? Honestly I don't know why after a few dates I didn't let her into my hidden life. Things would of been smoother in the long run. Either she would of ran away or she would of stayed and knew. She has been amazing since she found out. Just hope others find the same as me. Though for all those out there afraid or doubting who you are! You live once and this isn't just a phase. Tell the people you love if they accept it they accept it. If they don't well it's not something we can go without no matter how hard we try it always comes back. Sure you can fight it at first but after a few months or even a year the urge is strong again. It's a fight we can't win. I did for 5 years then it was so bad I was starting to go through depression. We hurt no one by wearing different underware. We embarrass nobody if we don't flaunt it. It makes us all happier and honestly better people. I refuse to seek some shrink to tell me I'm a wack job or that it's normal. If it was normal I wouldn't feel embarrassed at all so I know it's not "Normal" but what is? For me I have always been the strange kid in the world and I guess I have accepted that I will always be that guy. Had to rant a bit on here cause well....... you all know my struggle more then anyone else.

Thanks for reading
Alan

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Haha oh yea in my ramble I forgot to ask what do you think the best diaper ever is. So far mine is the abena M4.

best diaper ever!