Seeing underage desperation

vendredi 18 septembre 2015

This is a thorny one. The fine line between enjoying age play, being AB/DL or little, but not crossing into pedo style behaviour.

I know it doesn't need clarification, but I'm not a pedo. I have kids of my own, and anything involving indecent dealings with kids sickens and offends me. As I'm sure it does most people. We would all like harsher penalties etc, or even extreme physical harm to occur to these scum, and I don't need to go on about it.

Now I'm a little, as is my girlfriend. We often play dress ups, enjoy wearing and wetting diapers or our pants, and like to indulge ourselves as consenting adults in age play activities. She likes to be around 3-5, more of a babyish age, where my little is around 9-12. I like the diapers or pull ups, but am not myself into the real baby age stuff. My little just wets his pants occasionally and wears protection to bed.

A lot of my little side stems from childhood. I had a great childhood. My brother and I had no abuse, were well loved by both parents, and raised in a loving, secure environment. But I was a late bed wetter. I wore training pants and plastic covers, or a diaper to bed until I was 11 or so. I also had infrequent pants wetting incidents. More than my younger brother did, curse him! It wasn't regular, and there wasn't any physical cause, I was just one of those kids who wet his pants sometimes, the last time by accident when I was about 13! I wasn't punished anymore than perhaps scolded if I did wet myself, and was never punished with humiliation or diapers.

My brother and I always peed in our swimsuits, and played a lot of peeing games when we could get away with it while playing outside. If one of us had a real accident, we would generally try and help each other, although we would tell on each other as well. He rarely teased me about my night nappy either.

So I guess me growing up and turning into an adult little is explainable. I found security in my night nappy, wasn't punished if I wet myself, and enjoyed playing wet games with my brother. So I think that's why I find solace by playing as a kid from that age. It takes me back. Makes me feel carefree and young. I can regress and find some of the magic, but also naughtiness of childhood, and I do that by wetting my pants or nappy, and pretend that I'm a kid again.

Where is this going you may ask? Well this involves something that I saw the other day that made me feel uncomfortable.

I was at our local mall, browsing in a store, when I heard the magic words,"Mum, I really need to do a wee."

I glanced beside me, and there was a mother and 2 kids. A girl of about 7, and a boy of about 10. The boy was wearing grey sweat pants, and was holding himself with his hand. His mother told him to hold on, she would take him to the rest rooms shortly.

They kept browsing, the mother walking off a bit, while the two kids were looking at toys. The boy kept squeezing himself, and started marching his legs a bit. "C'mon mum, I've got to go" he moaned.

I suddenly realised that I was watching him, and didn't feel comfortable with myself. I left the store and continued down the mall. Shortly afterwards I saw them coming towards me, the boy obviously desperate. He was making no effort to hide it, and was behaving more like a toddler than a ten year old. They walked past, and headed to the rest rooms, where he ran inside.

This is the part I'm ashamed of. I hung around in a store opposite the rest rooms until they emerged. I wanted to know if he had made it, or had wet his pants. He emerged shortly afterwards still dry. He had made it.

But then I realised that I was waiting to see if a kid had wet his pants. And that is wrong. I had no interest in the kid himself, and apart from saying he had dark hair and was chubby, I have no idea what he looked like. I wasn't at all interested in him, just if he would wet his pants or not.

I think that I was seeing 10 year old me as him. Being desperate, holding on, in danger of a public accident. That's what my little side does when I regress. It wasn't the child himself, but rather his actions that interested me.

But if I was at the mall with my kids, and thought that someone was paying undue attention to my child, I wouldn't be at all happy about whatever reason they had.

It made me feel dirty and wrong, even though I know that the actual kid had no interest for me.

Has anybody else ever found themselves feeling unnecessarily uncomfortable around a child because of their own little side or behaviour?
Seeing underage desperation

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