I make myself feel guilty all the time.

Hello Its me again, Things seem to be going wellish enough for me, right now, but still, my grandma seems to force college down my throat, Which I will admit isn't all bad, and has helped me out more times than I can count, but still she says my grades have suffered in college ever sence I joined this site, which her definition of suffered is C's when in previous semester's I get A's and B's, because apparently there's an additional refund, that will come in October, because of me staying so long, and I'm not saying her pushy behavior is all bad, It just gets stressful, when combined with my brother and school, It gets bad. Also I am working on my school stuff, and working on finding acceptance in me, and praying, but the stress feels like it builds up until it explodes, and it gets way too much, overall I'm tired of living at home with a grandmother who may be nice, and does care, but tries to change me too much, tired of living with a brother, who even with his meds and a cold, is still just as evil although in different ways, and tired of waiting about 8 month's for me to graduate from college, when I may not even get a job outside college, or an apartment, due to stictics, Tired of not beaing able to say what I think or getting misunderstood, due to my Austim, and it takes me a while to say what I think, and get all flustered. And I know I can't control my family and my life and that focusing on the bad is a bad idea, but when I get super stressed like when I'm in college, It honestly feels like that's all there is, and in addition to everything else, I just don't know how to handle this.

I make myself feel guilty all the time.