Hatred of affection

dimanche 23 août 2015

For most of us, one of the biggest parts of being an AB is desiring that sort of tender, loving, parental affection that we experienced as babies and young children. That's a generalization, but I'd say it's pretty accurate. Well, I've been thinking all day, that's really funny considering what I was like as a child.

Around the time I turned 5, I hated, and I mean HATED physical affection (I have no idea what happened, it seemed to just happen over night). Yes, even from my parents. I feel awful saying this, but for most of my childhood, I'd refuse to hug or kiss either one of them. I'd do it if they made me, but they'd really have to make me to do it and I'd be reluctant and very uncomfortable every time. It took a long time to get over it to the point that I can do it without blushing or putting up a fight, but even to this day I'm not very comfortable hugging or showing any affection to my parents, or anyone for that matter. The strange part is I really, really crave affection (both from an AB perspective and a non-AB perspective) but at the same time it makes me uncomfortable.

Does anyone else have this issue? Isn't this kind of ironic considering the nature of ab desires? I'd love to hear any insight on the topic.
Hatred of affection

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